Dear Diary,
Hii
After many many days I am here.
Actually I write only when I can't talk to anyone about it.
Alot of things have been changed since the last time I was here.
HA is out of my life as he decided to end things so l agreed as it was just something meant for short period that day I was sad but later I told him to fuck off.
At the same day I texted Dr VS but he didn't replied within some hours then I unsent it but after some days he replied to my story but I couldn't read it as that time I was away from my mobile and later he also removed the message, then again I texted him after some days and got an instant reply.
We met after Nov now and we were not talking since 2 months but still maybe I was also somewhere in his mind
He came and...
But things again IDK what's the problem with us maybe his ego issues and mine is saying everything directly on to his face but still it was a good time. He said that he will come next day also but he ghosted for 3-4 days but I still remember that forehead kiss before he left. Then yesterday he asked me where I am but I am not in that city now so he missed the opportunity that day 😅
But today I just hate myself, just one accident from the past have spoiled many things like my physical appearance my career n all.
I want to have causal relationship with him like temporary dating with VS as I can't get him out of my mind so maybe I like him but I don't know what he thinks and ofcourse I know he is not good for my mental health as things always end with him at some weird note and the main reason I am not asking him is that at present even I don't love myself how can I expect him or anyone else to like me although there are some other people who are trying but I don't want their efforts. And I don't want him to do anything not from half heartedly as he might also have some check list for his gf.
Day after tomorrow we are travelling we means me n my family
Okay
Goodnight now.