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3/29/21
I can't stop looking for you in others. Every Whisper message, every kind thing someone says to me, I think of you.
I see old screen shots of random things on my phone and I see the new message icon at the top and I think about how it was from you. That feels so long ago... I took that for granted so much... Just to be able to receive a message from you...
Songs keep coming on that you liked, that you told me to listen to... I keep remembering small things we joked about... These memories and good times were real to me... I don't understand how it could've just been one sided...
Even though I know you won't reply, it's so hard not to text you. Just seeing your name in my messages is so weirdly comforting...
Every time my phone vibrates I pray to God it's you... And when I see it isn't, my heart sinks deeper than I ever knew possible.
I parked at the same place I sat in my car all night the first time we talked on the phone for hours on end, all night long about anything and everything, about being in love, being together, our lives... I fell in love with you a million times that night.
As I'm about to go to sleep, the memory of when I couldn't sleep and was having a bad mental health night slapped me in the face. You asked if I wanted to fall asleep with you on the phone. I loved listening to your noises. Your voice saying my name. I loved the way you talked to me when you thought I was asleep. I'll never forget the night you said my name with your last name. I'll never forget any of these memories... I'll always love you completely...Loading...