Dear Tariq,
Yesterday was a good day. I met with my friend S. I was having a good time. I was making jokes. Even in the cab my energy was so positive. I wish I could have that with everyone or atleast with people who are close to me.
Today I might meet AM, after a long long wait of a year, finally there is a chance we are gonna meet. I like him so I become very conscious around him and secondly he says or does something to turn me off too. I seriously don't know if he is worth the trouble. He is good looking, intelligent, funny etc, everything a girl would want. He even has a good job. But he doesn't love me. We had plan to go meet at a pub, and drink together. It was his plan. He had told me earlier he will drop me to my home so I don't need to worry. Yesterday he said, choose a place as per convenience as you have to reach home also. He said it twice to imply I will have to return home alone. So, obviously I don't feel like drinking much anymore. Last time also I returned alone after drinking with him, even though it's probably safe in cabs. But I can't take the risk to get too high and return alone. To be honest, I don't even like drinking much. All I want to do is dance, and due to Covid, there are much restrictions. I wish I could just dance at a club. I will have 3 vodka shots that's all, if we meet.
I was looking very beautiful yesterday, and I sent him my pics. I guess, after seeing those pics his interest got heightened.
When at first he asked will I be free tomorrow, it had made me so happy, but later he said that there is a chance he may not be able to come, and then told about returning alone after drinking, all those took away my excitement a lot.
3:56pm:. He is finally coming to visit . We will be meeting each other after a year. I would have ended things if he hadn't come,. But he didn't disappoint me. Let's see how it goes.