Dear Diary,
One thing I've come to realize about myself is that I apologize too much. Like when someone bumps into me for instance, I usually, quickly say "oh, I'm sorry", when it wasn't even my fault. Or when a situation presents itself, that is completely out of my control, there I am, with the "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry".
Lately, I've been catching myself doing it often. Even going beyond saying sorry and going out of my way to try to make up for "my wrong" when in hindsight, it really wasn't all that serious of a situation to begin with, to put myself through all that anxiety just to try to make it up to the person. And I asks myself, "Why do you apologize so much?" "Why is it you feel the need to fix things?" "Why is it you feel the need for peoples approval or to keep them happy and not "step on anyone's toes?"
I know who I am. I'm a compassionate person. I care a lot about people's feelings, what they like and don't like. I'm also an agreeable person. I care about keeping the peace and I don't like conflict. So to avoid getting someone upset or letting them down, I apologize.
I'm learning though, that this needs to stop. Because it not only undermines my self-worth, it's also keeping me from manifesting an abundant life.
So little by little, I am becoming more aware and doing my best to change it. Instead of saying "I'm sorry", I will instead say "excuse me" or even a "thank you for..." Or "thank you that...". Or not apologize at all. It's all a work in progress. I am a work in progress.
-HappyWings=)