Dear Diary,
Another day started with feeling lonely. I don't know when this lonely feeling will stop. I wish I had someone.
Again my mind is consumed with feelings of hatred for AM. He is not telling me what he feels for sure. He is not showing me he cares. He said he will send me a gift, but I didn't receive any so far. I expected he didn't even order. And he didn't bother telling me. I was not expecting a gift, but when he told me he will send, it obviously raised some expectations. It is very clear, that with him, I will keep having issues.
I will keep feeling lonely. I will be lonely. I am the one always feeling the need to contact him. He doesn't seem that interested. And maybe I can't keep his interest. My ex was like that too, when in long distance, he didn't show much interest. He was very boring though. But in this case, maybe I bore him too. I have so many things to tell. But I can't. Mostly lovey dovey things I wish I could tell him.
He has never kept his words. I have seen many red flags in his behaviour. And still I got feelings for him. 😤 I am such a moron.
The wait is about to get over. Finally we will meet. And I think I can be free then.
If he returns without meeting me, I will end things with him. I will delete him from my life.
I cancelled my previous flight, I won't be able to meet my PK. There was 9.5 hours layover. But through that state I will have to do covid test and I will reach at night. I feel bad, it happened twice now.
P.s turns out AM was not feeling well and he has covid symptoms. That's why he was not available yesterday. I hope he doesn't contract covid and gets well soon.
My task for today: