Dear Diary,
I got selected in a new Project , I am so excited. It was my 1st interview , and I got selected in it. I wanted to work on S4 Hana only and I got that. I will do my best in this project.
I was chatting for hours with AM till 3am, and yesterday a guy asked me out he seemed nice, I told AM about it and told him if I didn't like someone already, i would definitely have dated that guy. After saying this I switched off and slept. I think it was a bad move. Anyways, the whole chat was cringe, I wish I were funny like him.
Anyways, it was like he was counseling me, and he was drunk.
In all the talk I realised:-
1. I am very pessimistic , I always worry about the worst case scenario. And worry about who I will end up with. I should not seem so desperate lol.
Somehow I feel,. I won't like a single guy if I search from Matrimonial apps.
I don't think I have ever faced issue with rejection and my friends keep pampering me that any guy would like me. So, I will stop worrying about who I am going to marry.
2. Have more self confidence, AM also had said many times, but I just feel I am not good enough. I shouldn't feel so. There are things about my past which bothers me, but AM still liked me, and so if the guy really liked me he will accept me with my past too.
3. Lastly it's obvious I want to be with AM, and I am not afraid to tell him so too. So, I will just focus on that. I turned 27 yesterday so I kinda feel this is the right age to find a guy, and get married. And I fear that I am wasting a lot of time with AM, and somehow he will reject me in the end. It's because we still have not talked about commitment stuff.
Yes, maybe things won't workout with AM, maybe I will turn old and not like most of the guys I get approached by at that time.
Life is unpredictable, even if get committed there is no guarantee we will get married.
I will stop fearing my future. And just hope for the best, and live in the present.
My tasks for today:-
Drink 2 glasses after waking up daily from tomorrow.
Ask 1 question or answer 1 question daily from tomorrow in forum
Check flight guidelines tomorrow