January 10, 2021

Dear Diary, I had a big argument with Belle and she says she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

It was about Trump. She asked me about the riot in the capitol and I explained what happened to her. Then she wanted to know the exact words that Trump used in the speech before the riot. So I showed her the transcript of the speech on my phone. After reading it she said that Trump didn't intend the riot because he used the word peacefully.

I was pretty shocked, but honestly I expected something like this. I said something like: "Really? You actually think that?" And then she said that I was attacking her and would jump to conclusiond regarding her opinion. So I asked her what her opinion was, but she wouldn't answer me claiming that she is just neutral and you don't have to have an opinion on this. To which I responded that by remaining neutral in this she is downplaying what Trump did. I mean just because he didn't outright say to break into the capitol doesn't mean that he didn't intend it or at least didn't care if something like that happened. Is she seriously so naive to take somthing from a notorious liar like him just at face value when it lead to several people dying?

Then she closed up and didn't want to say anything anymore, saying that she just had a theory, that I was trying to make her feel guilty and that I didn't really listen to her. That is just not true I was just we just had a discussion and then she makes all of these accusations. I have no problem being friends with someone who has different opinions from me (even though in this case they are shocking if she actually thinks Trump is not responsible for the riot.

Afterwards we went to the trainstation separetaley and in the train she said she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore, because she thinks we don't understand each other.

I am so sad. I feel like there is nobody I can just hang out with. Even just as a friend it doesn't work. Did I do somethong wrong? I seriously don't know.

What's more is that Knight still hasn't responded to me from yesterday and in her case I kinda get why. She is playing all sorts of multiplayer games, presumably with some friends I don't know. I feel like nobody really needs me.

I just wanted to have a girlfriend or at least some friends to hang out with, but it keeps getting worse and I get lonelier and lonelier.