December 31, 2020

Today, it was a okay okay type day. Not that good because even today I haven't completed my daily target to study which I have set 3-4  days before.

I don't know what's wrong with me I am just unable to focus on my studies properly and I am definitely not working on my study plans as exams are very near.

Right now I'm just lying on my bed and I have weird feeling like I want to be happy at this moment but I am not. I am getting pissed of from the notifications of every ramdom persons' live video and stories.

Why people share everything online. Probably 80% of the people of their friend list are  not even interested in knowing these things.

I have never attended those new year eve parties and I definitely want to but in my city these things don't happen and even I am home so I can't drink also.

And before that because of being a girl there was stupid in times in the hostel so never went to such parties. Hope so next year I will be happy and enjoying somewhere at this moment.

I just feel lonely most of the time. As in I am at home, I don't have friends here. I have zero social life. I don't even step out of my home. Thanks to my parents that I have balconies and terrace in my home they are always my go to place.

I just want someone in my life. Not as lover or something but still someone. Ya ofcourse who will not want someone who loves you but definately I don't want to get married right. I want to thank God for this that I have parents who don't even talk about marriages otherwise everywhere nowadays I am seeing my juniors getting married even at 21 22.

But I do want someone who can talk to me, listen to me, just be my side.

As only 20 minutes are left for clock to turn 12am , I know no one will wish me happy new year as I have distanced myself from everyone but still I want to turn off the internet and sleep peacefully.

---