Dear Diary, It's currently 5:00am I haven't had a good sleep in a really long time. I hate not being able to sleep, I hate getting these nightmares. Most of all, I hate being so afraid to sleep at night. I literally wait until I see the sun come out to sleep because that's when I feel like it's safe for me to sleep. Sometimes I feel Like there's no purpose for me here, like there isn't anything for me in this world. I'm 19 years old and life is just passing me by. I feel like time is moving too fast and all of my goals/dreams and ambitions are just out of my grasp, it's like I can't even reach for them anymore. I dropped all of my closest friends and i'm all alone now but to be truthful, I don't mind it. It only gets to me sometimes, not always though. I recently moved into a new neighborhood and I can honestly say that It's probably the nicest neighborhood me and my family have ever lived in. I like it here, its quite peaceful here and even though there's a loud train that passes by our new home everyday, it's not as annoying as I thought it'd be. But hey, it's better than the loud crackheads passing by our old place all the time.
I get along with everyone and i've been told that i'm pretty funny but I think I've become anti-social. I haven't had friends in a while and I barely go out so it only makes sense, right?. I noticed that I've become a lot more sensitive than before. Almost everything makes me cry (when I mean everything, I mean EVERYTHING). The one thing that I wish I could change about myself is probably how nice/good I am. Good people always get hurt the most and it isn't fair but what can we really do about it right?. I'm kind even to those who hurt me and hate me.