I've been needing to talk about this for a couple of nights now, but I've also been getting too distracted to write about it.
I met Da's aunt and her fiancé Monday (25th). We essentially had a double date at Olive Garden and it was awkward for me, to say the least.
They seem like decent people, but I just felt like an outsider. Like I didn't belong. I was an awkward fourth wheel of what was supposed to be a tricycle.
Da and his aunt talked about funny things that happened in the past and I just sat there awkwardly not really thinking it was funny.
Da's aunt looked at me like I was stupid when I said that I hate football, when I said I've never seen Inuyasha, when I told her that I have an irrational fear of mascot costumes or any anthropomorphic shit.
It's like her humor is based entirely on judging someone else. She says that she's fine with people liking other things and yet I feel her judgment.
I don't match her vibes at all. I'm small and quiet and try to take up as little room as possible in the atmosphere, but she's loud and boisterous and extroverted. I can already tell that she's the type of person who would drain the energy from me.
And apparently Da's brother is supposed to be just like her.
How in the hell am I going to handle being around his family? Like honestly, that's scary.
Her fiancé was okay. He's a picky eater in different degrees than me. He only eats spaghetti with ketchup. He gives off some weird vibes, too, but I like him more than her so far.
Another thing I just remembered... She mentioned that she is bipolar but it kind of came off as a threat?
Y'all, I'm not sure I want to be around these people if they are going to be regularly in and out of the hospital, draining my energy, threatening me, and the likes.
I can only handle so much and it seems like Da lives in a fucking circus.
And over the course of writing this entry, I'm rethinking my entire life. Fuck.
Update:
Me: I feel like my life is or is about to fall apart.
Me: I need a new tattoo.
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