October 23, 2020

 

Dear Diary, I am so done with everything, I am so afraid of every thing, I want to let it out..want to cry..but I can't , don't know why? It's like my tears froze in my eyes.. it's like my heart stopped beating..why am I here..who am I supposed to be..what am I supposed to do..it's like I don't care about anything..I am falling apart .. my body is breaking..I can't feel..happiness? What is it? Hahahahaha!!!! I hate it..I hate to be happy..I feel so afraid to be happy..whenever I laugh I have to end up crying..love, trust, happiness..I don't know them at all! I don't even have any idea about them!! I hate everyone.. no one came to save me.. so I don't need anyone now or do I?

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