October 10, 2020

 

Dear Diary,

Ishmael surprised me today! I'm glad he came here to see me. He'll be here for a couple of weeks, but then he gave me some really sad news. He's going to be moving all the way overseas. I don't know if I can deal with this. I don't know how well this is going to play out. It's been an awful day before he came, and that news of him moving even further was just the tip of the iceberg. I know he wants me to just focus on the now, and enjoy his time here, but I can't help but think that he will be gone for God knows how long. He gave me a promise ring today, and told me that he promises to wait, to never be with anyone else while he's away, and that he will come back and we will get married. It gives me some kind of comfort. I just feel so broken. I cried for the longest time when he told me that....he cried too. He hardly ever cries. So I know it hurts him just as much as it hurts me. For now, while he's here we'll have as much fun as possible. We plan on having sex every night until the day comes for him to go. Of course using protection because I don't know what I'll do if I'm pregnant and he's not here. So much is just going through my head right now. I hope that everything will come together in the future just like we plan. 

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