Dear Diary,
Today i heard it again.
"you should have just killed your son if you can't take care of him"
I tried my best as i can. To take care of my kids and to give them what they deserve. But to my mother it was not enough. Anything is not enough.
In the past i heard it too. "you should have just killed your daughter " with the same person. Back then i held it to my self. Cried silently and by myself.
But now i can't. Many things comes to my mind. Why? Why didnt you just killed me back then as well? You should just have killed me then so i won't have To feel this way. I accept every hurtful words you say towards me. But i cant to the same when it comes to my child.
Why am i like this? How many times i looked at the knife to end my life but i always look away to see my child. My son and my daughter.
Until when i can fight this? Until when my kids can save me?