August 25, 2020

I'm sorry but I just can't do it anymore. I tried being all that and I just lost myself more and more. Like I said I feel like an alien in this dating world all my qualities are wrong for it. I can either be myself or what people see as the way to look for someone. But even if I give up I can't help but think about relationships. So I'm unhappy either way it seems. @princess That is great! I wish you all the best!

*I met him from bumble

I'm literally trying to get in a relationship with a guy in the same exact position as you (virgin, no gf ever, never kissed a girl) and he's just 2 years younger than you.

Dont feel dejected. Just keep at it. 😃 Work out and keep working on your self confidence. Keep a positive attitude to life. Youll never know when you would run into the One.

Then its time to get out of your comfort zone, as scary as that is. The worst thing those girls can do is say no.

Thats why I started feeling that me being a quiet, nerdy person is the real problem. (And yes I did look for nerdy groups)

@princess Ok I didn't know the english terminology then, I didn't know those lasted more than a week. @meru I tried meetups. They also don't have much here, and what I tried didn't work. I also joined a theatre group, a yoga class, went to bars even though I don't like drinking, went to volunteer groups etc. All part of my efforts. At some point it became apparent that it doesnt work for me though. And with Covid I cant do any of this stuff right now anyway.

That's a fling.

I'm not talking about flings. I really don't want those. I want a relationship, just not with all those responsibilities right away.

@titus you could also get involved in offline activities. Find out hobby groups in your area which youre interested in. Visit them, make connections. you would certainly run into women who have the same interests as you and you enjoy spending time with. Meetups.com is a good place to search. I made a lot of friemds by attending meetups in my new city.

You just gotta play the cards you've been dealt. If you want a fling, lower your standards.

Thanks. It's just that I feel like I get more and more out of sync with my agegroup. I've already started noticing women around me thinking about kids while I still want those first experiences without many responsibilities, like a tenn or early 20s person. At the same time I feel and see myself changing and it makes me afraid that I will never have that young love experience. And I know its terrible and superficial but I want a young girlfriend at some point ( 20s to early 30s) at some point and I am slowly loosing those opportunities.

It's best not to compare your timeline of events to other's. Just because it takes you longer to find a girlfriend doesn't mean you're trash. You're just waiting for the right one to come along that sees your beauty. Not everyone can see it. You'll find someone someday and she will be worth the wait.

Well, hopefully I've been trying a long time. 😅 People around me have had multiple relationships in that time.

Patience is key.

Thanks for the comments! I've been on bumble for a while too. The userbase here is very low unfortunately and I didn't have any more matches than on Tinder, which means maybe 1 a month. I tried a lot of dating apps like OkCupid, which has a more nerdy userbase which is nice and you have a much more involved profile. But dating apps in general don't work for me. I used to blame my photos, but now they are pretty good I think. Maybe it's because I'm not very comfortable with online dating. I noticed that women seem to want immediate flirting or whatever and I just can't deliver that. It takes a long time for me to get warmed up with most people and it usually takes a few weeks for me to become really interested in a girl even in real life. Thats why I'm always into friends. So meeting someone in real life would be ideal. Thats pretty impossible right now though.

For real though. The tinder scene might be a little different where you live, but it's so shallow and surface level, pretty much just for hookups. Bumble is better for actual significant relationships.

Hey! Why dont you try again on another platform? Bumble is better.