August 23, 2020

 

I cannot stand people right now. Some people are just so ignorant and won't even see the truth right in front of them.

And family? What does that even mean? I have never known anyone outside of my immediate family to give a damn about anyone other than their immediate family. This goes for both my maternal and paternal sides.

I'm related to nothing but two-faced, backstabbing, careless assholes. 

My maternal aunt and her husband share a Facebook page and attack me any time I share something that puts a certain politician in a negative light. "The hell with you and your parents" ... "also grandma should be living by herself anyway"

I believe my aunt's husband must have posted that considering they said "grandma." My grandma is also my aunt's mother. 

My grandma is 70 years old. What is wrong with us living with her? Why would you say that about your mother/mother-in-law?

"The hell with you and your parents"

Why would you say that about your sister/sister-in-law?

We've literally never done anything for you to hate us. Why are you guys like this? Family is supposed to love each other, right? 

I mean, we always knew my aunt and her husband were shady and shitty people, but damn. 

We'll make sure my grandma takes them out of her will. They don't deserve anything from her anyway. They never cared. Never visited. 

Does a family exist where people actually get along? Or is that just in the movies? 

I was just talking about my immediate family's relations with extended family, but my immediate family isn't too peachy either.

My dad likes to yell and drink a little too much. 

My mom... Idk I love her I don't really have anything negative to say.

My oldest sister is dumb as hell and gets herself into sticky situations too often.

My other sister doesn't want to be involved with us mostly because of our sister and our dad.

I'm a mess myself but I'm the best child in their eyes. I make some stupid decisions sometimes, but at least I still communicate with them and have some amount of common sense. 

I just don't know.

I used to want kids someday but for the past 2 years I haven't felt so good about that.

Just a while ago I googled "most free countries in 2020." I mean, it's very unlikely I'll ever move out of this country, let alone my state, but it wouldn't hurt to know what's out there...

I used to think people were crazy for wanting to live deep in the mountains in a cabin by themselves, but, honestly, it's not sound too bad right now.

I don't think I could be that withdrawn from society though. I wouldn't want to have to drive an hour to get to the nearest store or gas station. 

I guess I just really want to be free. But I don't even know what that means. 

I really want a dog and a boyfriend and a house to ourselves. 

The person I've been talking to, DA, has a dog and a cat. There's also at least one more cat in his house, so even if there wasn't a pandemic, it would be hard to see him without dying from allergies. I love cats, but I get so sick even with allergy medication. His cat is young, so even if he moved out and we lived together, I'd have to deal with it for many years to come.

I just want some happiness.
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