August 16, 2020

 

Dear Diary,


Hey meatbag, your my big brother im ok



I'm not trying to offend or anything. .



But I have a pic of you somewhere 

And im just so damn proud of you and the rest of our family


Can you believe where I am???



Why didn't you end up with that sexy ass bitch, im kind of jealous cuz your my weird ass big brother, I have the boy version of what you have and you have the girl version and we both have eyes and they both really hot???



I mean I don't know if your gay, but um this one time you got so fucking drunk you looked at my boyfriend and told him wow your so hot and damn how did this boy version get in this computer....


Um idk I left the room for one second just to get some towels becauze you were really that drunk 


And you asked me why my boyfriend is so hot...


All I can say is idk why is your girlfriend so hot



Um it didnt matter because we both are cats and said, what is 2 girls 1 cup???


Shit, we both died a little inside, duh curiosity killed the cat, duh cats only have 9 lives, duh we both want to just wash our eyes out with a musical and yeah we did this to ourselves cuz we are dumbasses who decided to know too much .....




How about a musical? Which one. . 



Remember repo the genetic opera? All I can tell you is im at a Lee's store looking at a literal coconut flavored blue waffle and shit


We asked too many questions we both just need to stop being curious about this new slang...but we always laugh cuz we keep saying I DARE YOU to find out




Shit eeeewwwwww why is it always so gross i hate you big brother it was your fault, but not really, I asked what it was too.....



So because you are my big marine brother and your so fucking weird meatbag...yeah shut up cuz my husband remembers your name... and now he's saying oh yeah you had that one hot brother ......its so gross


Why is it every time we play truth or dare we learn about something gross??? Idk I want to be blind too, remember that  musical?



Repo the genetic opera?

How do I say, yes big brother I remember silver bullet, dehydration, in the rear with the gear and uhhh grosss let's just sing ok big brother 



Please stop reminding me that you saw my ass and its gross because I'm like literally your baby sister and why do these assholes keep trying to ship us, ummmm how can we can communicate yes i get it you all think my sibling is hot but um....we love eachother but so gross


Dark humor? Sing repo?


I'm trying to warn you, don't you DARE look up somg of saya its such a disturbing game, who even thought of that.....grosss


I literally have a husband who wont stop talking about last name cuz its "so true"


Shut up, to me his name is meatbag and now we have to got punch eachother in the face just everytime you keep talking about it I die a little inside...cuz sure he saw my ass and it was gross and you think its so funny



Why do people keep trying to make me look at that thing I didnt see because I know my brother is blackout drunk and my boyfriend is sober


And he won't stop talking about it grosss...i didnt mean to walk in I was gone for a second and now its so funny cuz its so embarrassing I just want to die....hint hint wink wink gross


Why do these people keep telling me I should really see this...um gross I love my brother but not like that



Make it funny somehow

Please let's laugh at this


Well I'm here in a psychward...




And ummm




Just close your eyes



Don't look its too gross I promise



I'm going to sing at home


I'm safe big brother but.....




I'm infected, by your genetics


I'm infected by your genetics


And I dont think that I should exist 


No I dont think that I should exist!


Tell me why oh why are my genetics such a bitch



I promise you if you just keep your eyes shut we can finally get the last laugh....you ready for the scary good reality check???



2 doctors called me ugly, im just trying to forget what we saw....sorry please punch me there is no way we found a way to laugh at this...


Um thanks, I remember you and Im with two doctors calling me an ugly white monkey, and im like its so funny cuz yes that 


Fine here we go again



  • Shiloh im a doctor
  • Shiloh im your father 
  • Take your medicine 
  • Take your medicine 


And im like shut up dumbass doctor I remember that and I would rather be blind.


If mufasa and burning bush ever sees 2 girls and 1 cup....we aren't stupid they are

We learned to stop asking questions that day

Cuz we know its a hot potatoe.. .


2 doctors are litterally asking an ugly monkey, why does she keep saying trust me you dont want to know about 2 girls and 1 cup


And they won't stop asking about
Im laughing cuz this memory kills me a little inside


Cuz everyone warned us not to look at this

And these 2 dumbass doctors think Im ganna tell what it means...it sounds kind of hot????



Are you OK? Why did we ask questions this is really funny


These doctors just said im not a dumbass you are why wont you tell me 2 girls one cup??? Uggggg I found literally blue waffles that could taste could cuz coconut but why did we fucking ask???what's a silver bullet?

Why won't they stop asking Because um i have a secret i wont tell i wont tell i wont tell i have a secret i wont tell cuz fuck we are dumbass marines



So...in the psychward this is 2 doctors and a monkey.   And there is no way this dumb blonde can be too smart.


How much you wanna bet too many people are going to look this up cuz Google 

Fine its both all our own fault, I am so sorry, im your little sister asking 2 girls and 1 cup??


Thats right we never heard of it.....

Are these two doctors really going to try to find out???? Whisper lol

Code name mufasa
Code name busche

They also keep asking why these boys keep fighting over me when I'm so sorry and its like


Yeah I remember her as a little girl

Now she's a grown up 

Eeeeew I said dont look


When did people start calling me GI JANE?????


Ewww fuck I have a hot big brother

Eeeewww they keep calling your little sister hot



Ewwwwww why do keep telling me my brother is hot???? 

Yeah I'm so fucking old now

Omg i kind of hope you are too


Damn can I just punch you real quick?   


Trust me, its a marine thing


Fuck

Eeeewww


Why do people keep reminding me my big brother is too hot to handle I dont want to see that


Trust me im so fucking ugly.....


But these doctors keep asking why is she so weirdly hot

Your little sister is too fucking hot for some of these people 

Shit 

No ice cream



OK, 

These doctors literally can't understand why these veterans keep fighting everytime they ask and they blame me


Sorry I knew the little girl,

According to you she just grew up



Ewwwwwww stop calling her GI Jane gross


Um yeah we are marines

Um yeah we are that fucking hot

Fuck I just called my family hot?


Big Muai where did you fucking go?? Well idk who this guy is but he is a tech and he has the same tattoo


Shit its not him he was in the navy, always like a guardian angel, keeps popping up, keeps singing a happy song in a different language 

Translation Help I s33 friendly fire here we can all skip Afghanistan 

Let's just get a beer

Fuck


I promised I wouldn't smoke



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