Dear Diary, I feel that I'm getting healthier. I no longer skip meals and be so conscious about weight. It took me four years to fight this side of me and I no longer cry if I gain a pound and I've been ignoring that tiny consciousness in my mind saying that I'm fat.
I've just compare my pictures from before and now and I realize that I really do prefer this new me. It made me regret why am I so conscious of my body before to the point I only eat an apple a day and it made me feel worse when people are asking me if I have an eating disorder. I really tried to be normal those times but it didn't work.
I've read so many inspirational books and good thing I'm a medical student since it was a slap for me for not knowing it's side effects. I did my recovery in a slow pace but it was done in an assured manner. Although I'm still working for my independence from laxatives which I usually take thrice a week. I hope for my full recovery and freedom from my toxic mindset