July 27, 2020
Dear Diary,
Hi.. I hope you're doing great. I'm trying to act normal. I'll actually act normal. If anyone asks me anything, I'll reply properly and I'll smile. Well, smiling will make them think I'm fine and they won't bother me anymore. So, I'll smile and I'll put on the mask... Starting from now, let's be happy....
Hii... I'm okay thank you for asking. It was really sweet of you and have a good day.
Great. I can do it 😊.
And about today, I'll write in points and I will tell everything...
- First, I tried to sleep but woke up at 3 and since then I have been reading (my old journals)
- No one actually talked with me yet and I'm okay with it.Mom and dad aren't talking so well and I'm actually a bit freaking out about talking with my father... I can't talk with him. I thought I will make him proud but I couldn't. My 12 th results aren't good and he said I could have studied more... I failed to make him proud(again)
- I will try my best to behave today. I know I'm a bit unlucky but still I'll try..
I've decided to apply for some local colleges... Don't know if everything will be fine or not...
You know, last noght I had really a bad dream but I can't remember what it was.... My friends called and I didn't even talked with her. Last night I had an emotional breakdown and I bursted my anger on him. And as usual he used his coldness to counter it and then his love to calm me. He's great and I am quite thankful to him...
Yesterday I spent hours watching Netflix and then read a lot.. studied some chemistry and biology. And did some maths too .. in short, tried everything to not think much.. helped a bit.. that's all I did yesterday. Don't know if today will be good or not... But I'll try... I'll keep on trying. Because technically, no one wins the battle of life. Either they keep on fighting all life long or they simply die. I'll choose to fight for now.. wish me luck.
Things will be good enough very soon(I'm telling myself that)...
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