Dear Diary,
I don't want to meet my mom...
I don't want to talk with her, good or bad talk...
I don't want to argue with her...
I afraid we hurt each other whenever we talk
I afraid I will broken more than this
Yes she is my mom.
She always be my mom no matter I hate her.
I don't want to hurt her and myself if we talk.
We are totally different.
She love me with prison me in house
She love me to do house work because I woman
She love me to ask me for keeping my money to everything I need by myself
She love me to be religious woman who life for Allah only
That how she love me... To control and decide what I have to be
But....
I hate being at home. I love hangout, go to library, caffee and mall.
I don't like doing housework because it's not my mess. It's my family mess and why I have to clean it everyday? Because I m their daughter, that my duty. Fuck
I have problem with saving money. Which I can't save it. What I can is working to get more. This case I agree to study control myself because I can't ask about money stuff to them or it will be a big fight between us.
I m not religious person. There a lot of sin that I have. One of them is hating my mom. It's a big sin in my religion.
"So stop force me to be like you want, Mom"
I m not good woman or even daughter.
I hate myself because I feel lonely in her prison. She just love me with hurting me.
Then I do the same because I m not good daughter at all.
We just mother and daughter
No friend
No good talk
No compromise
We just nothing