Me n Mom July 16, 2020


Dear Diary,

I don't want to meet my mom...

I don't want to talk with her, good or bad talk...

I don't want to argue with her...

I afraid we hurt each other whenever we talk

I afraid I will broken more than this

Yes she is my mom. 

She always be my mom no matter I hate her. 

I don't want to hurt her and myself if we talk. 

We are totally different. 

She love me with prison me in house

She love me to do house work because I woman

She love me to ask me for keeping my money to everything I need by myself

She love me to be religious woman who life for Allah only

That how she love me... To control and decide what I have to be


I hate being at home. I love hangout, go to library, caffee and mall. 

I don't like doing housework because it's not my mess. It's my family mess and why I have to clean it everyday? Because I m their daughter, that my duty. Fuck

I have problem with saving money. Which I can't save it. What I can is working to get more. This case I agree to study control myself because I can't ask about money stuff to them or it will be a big fight between us. 

I m not religious person. There a lot of sin that I have. One of them is hating my mom. It's a big sin in my religion. 

"So stop force me to be like you want, Mom"

I m not good woman or even daughter. 

I hate myself because I feel lonely in her prison. She just love me with hurting me.

Then I do the same because I m not good daughter at all.

We just mother and daughter

No friend

No good talk

No compromise

We just nothing