I wish to sit on a nice sandy beach with nothing but the waves. I wish I was lying in the sand at night staring at the stars above me. I wish I could cry, but I have forgotten how. I wish I could stare at the ocean and feel the sand between my toes and just sit there for hours. I wish I could go to a high school beach party. I wish that someone cared enough to ask me how I was feeling. I wish someone would facetime me until I fell asleep. I wish I could just forget about my family and make my own path.
I have a question though...
We have souls, correct? So, where do our souls go when we die? Do they stay trapped inside of our dead bodies? Do they truly go to "Heaven" and find peace? Do we get to be reborn and made into another body? I'm not sure...but whatever happens, I don't think I want to go. I have thought of dying many times throughout my life. I just haven't been able to act on my impulses. Nobody truly knows what happens...and I think our souls are valuable. It truly wouldn't be fair to kill myself if I didn't give my soul a chance to I don't know....ignite?
Everyone lives, and everyone dies. There is no in-between, but sometimes I wish there wasn't life at all. Maybe had there not been any life, we wouldn't exist. All of those kids who committed suicide, wouldn't have had to change to die. All of those children who starve, wouldn't have had a chance to starve. All of those kids beaten to death, wouldn't have been beaten. All of those children that were raped and murdered...would be at peace. Had there been no life, everything would be perfectly fine.
Everyone has a side that they don't share with others. Whether it's a kinky side...a depressed side...an evil side...a nice side...or a crazy side. We are all hiding something that we don't want the world to see. So why do we have that side in the first place? Because we need something of our own, something nobody can take. And whichever comes after our death...I don't really mind. Because I'm going to hell anyway.