Dear Diary, I can't handle it anymore, i can't keep it in my heart anymore, i need to write it.
Three years ago, I met them. I wasn't sure if those guys are good for me, everytime i sit w them i feel uncomfortable and insecure, i can't talk to them comfortably even with the best one of them, some of them were treating me rudely like i was an enemy i wasn't sure why, and two of them were so kind and cute.
I had the chance to leave them, i had many other friends that I feel comfortable with, i was so confused about that i didn't know what to do i asked my sister and she said i should follow my heart, i followed my heart and i chose them after all.
Since then we've been friends, those who were treated me badly has become so friendly.
They were five and one of them has become my best friend. "This is a nice story tho!"
This is must be ur saying now, but no the story hasn't started yet. That strange feeling about feeling insecure with them, actually it has become even worse, this feeling has become bigger and bigger untill this moment.
I don't know why i feel this way even with my best friend, when i talk to them face to face or text them or do anything with them, i just feel sooo bad about it idk why!! Whatever was the thing i said or did i just feel so uncomfortable. briefly, i hate myself when I'm with them. I don't know what to do, I've been trying so hard to kill this feeling by talking to them all the time and sending them a lot of pics of me and letting them know every single detail of my life, but all this has made everything more worse than it already is.
I'm thinking about outgrowing them but I'm not sure about it.
I wanna live in peace but since they're with me, i cannot and the worst of all, i don't know why i feel this way.