June 28, 2020

Dear Diary,

My ex-boyfriend called me at 2:00 am this morning. I shouldn’t have answered his call because I am tired of playing his dumb games. He asked me if I still have feelings for him and If I miss him. Of course, I still have feelings for him and miss him like hell every single day, but I just laughed at him and told him he honestly didn’t mean nothing more than a friend to me now. He kept badgering me and trying to make me confess my feelings for him for a long time before I hung up in a very upset state. He called me again and I didn’t pick up my phone this time. He then sent me a message apologizing for his behavior and I only said it’s okay. He called me one more time and I just turned off my phone because his persistence to fix things with me after his betrayal is just driving me crazy at this point. I know I could easily block him and this problem would be fixed, but I don’t want to block him because it would be admitting I am still not over him. He doesn’t deserve knowing I still love him after he tore my heart apart when he dumbed me for his ex-girlfriend and confessed he has never really loved me. I just can’t believe he has tried to persuade me into at least having sex with him like in the old times if I don’t want a relationship with him anymore. I neither want to have sex with him nor a dating relationship with him anymore because he is such a manipulative asshole who has only wreaked havoc on my life. I know it will be really hard and will take a great deal of willpower to sever every form of communication with him, but I will force myself to not answer his calls and messages from now on. I am done being a second choice. I am done dealing with a twenty two-year-old adult man who acts like a immature boy and doesn’t have the slightest clue what he wants out of life.