Dear Diary,
I'm just some person in the world that would live for sometime in the human history.
I am a clueless or "no conviction" person and I can't stand on my own.
I am always in need of affirmation from someone of what should I do or believe to be true.
But most of these advices, I did and still be skeptic about it.
Dreams
Honestly, I am clueless about it.
I don't want to suffer to study a skill or profession.
But I must because society (family, friends, and in general) think it is the right thing for me.
I agree that it could help me to get a better living in the future. So that's why I continue with my study.
My dreams were long lost.
Like becoming a great man of some expertise.
Deep inside, I have surrendered to a life of comfort and just moving to the flow that society wants me to be.
You can call me a loser because I think I am
Or just a lazy one, an ignorant, a confused, or a quitter.
Currently, I'm still finding some compelling reasons if the thing that I follow is reasonable enough because I don't want to be like a sheep of the society.
Or is it me whose unreasonable through all these times?
Maybe, again, I just need some exposure to something like making programs or games/learning math or science.
I just fear that I may not dedicate myself to work hard and progress.
Just like some quitter or lazy one that I am.
Yeah, like what I've said I am a confused quitter and I don't feel bad about it.
I don't know how to solve my problems
I just hope that someday I could find the right reasons to make myself stand on my own or not labell myself a lost one.