Dear Diary,
What does a "TITLE" really mean?
We have all had that person in our life that we may have misread, or been wrong about. Nahh, im not talking about a girlfriend, a friend with benefits.
No none of that. Im referring more to family! A mother, cousin, brother, or auntie. I have always accepted my family. For who, what, and where they are at in their stage of life. Broke, or well off never made a difference how i deal with them. It's always been UNCONDITIONAL love, I've given them because the "FAMILY" title. However, in the long run, I tend to come up short always.
My brother's, mother, cousin's, & auntie. I hope they're proud of me. After all i have did for them they've never acknowledged nothing I've done for them in clutch moment's.
My mother, started it all in my opinion. She left me hurt, still even to this day. She has a past, but thats another journal entrie. So I'll just fast forward to when i was 16. I was happy to finally see my mom clean. I accpted her flaws, and all I've even forgave her for her mistakes, before she got clean. It was my mom. Who wouldn't want their MOM? She never accepted me in return. Thats her title tho right? I jumped head first into the streets, i was getting charged 100$ a day by this woman just to wash up. But i wanted my mom in my life. Was she wrong, or was i gullible and naive?
My brother's, cousin's, and auntie. I can recall plenty moments that they may have been in need. Anytype of way. I mean anything! From money, to food. Hell I've even gave up my last when i shouldn't have. But again here comes that TITLE thing.
Basically im saying that i was programmed growing up. But the older i get i continue to see that's all it is. Its simply that a TITLE. That have no weight to it. Don't confuse what im saying. I won't let family get hurt, or if they're really in need leave them high and dry. 🙄even though i should😒.
I've just decided that i cant deal. When family begins to say things, & treat me as a stepping stone. I just have to step back. I have hard days. Majority of the day 96% of the time i quiet. Damn i dont even talk like i used to😓.
So here i am again asking myself "What does a title mean?". What does it mean to you? Have you had any "TITLE" do anything that left you like "Wwwooowww..."? To me i honestly think nothing. Unless that person who's holding the title, has great loyalty, and willing to give the unconditional treatment the same way you do.
Its more to this...
To be continued
Signed
"DoYou'Hear'MeCalling💜
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