I don't think he is being completely honest with me.
I (f23) have been "seeing" Jon (m35) for a month. We met through facebook dating on April 6 and have been chatting since. Due to stay-at-home orders, we have yet to see each other. He seems to be really great... too good to be true, it seems. I've fully and blindly trusted him up until April 24 when I saw that he had "liked" my younger cousin's pic (f20) on facebook.
Initially I was surprised and asked him how he knew her. He said he didn't know her or that she was my cousin. Red flag! Why was he friends with someone he didn't know who happened to be a girl even younger than me and liking her selfies? I message my cousin and she said he had not contacted her or anything. She deleted him. Thanks, sis. At that time, I noticed that when I went to his profile, I couldn't see anyone on his friends list, including our mutual friend. Our mutual friend could see his friends list though. I mentioned this to him and he claims he has no idea why I can't see it.
Okay, whatever. We move past it, but my trust with him has been jaded.
Since then, I see suggestions in my "people you may know" that have a single mutual friend with me, Jon. These people are 90% of the time younger than me and single. Honestly, I'm fine with him having female friends. But it can't be a coincidence that he has all these young, single, female friends. There's already a 12 year age gap between me and Jon and the gap increases with those younger than me. I'm worried that he preys on "barely legal" girls. I'm 23, but I'm often told I look 15 or 16. Is he preying on naive young women? I hope not.
The most recent red flag he has given me was this past weekend. On Saturday, my family gave us permission to have Jon come over on Sunday and I was so excited. I've been waiting a whole month to meet this man. And he just seems... so... unenthusiastic. I was confused. I was so excited about him coming over the next day and he was just kinda meh about it.
Sunday comes around and I'm asking him to give his address in exchange for mine. I like to do this so that we are on the same footing. However, he's avoiding it. He doesn't give me his address. He makes some excuse about how his dad's ex tried to break in one time so he's worried about that?
I give him my address anyway hoping that he'll return the gesture. He doesn't. He tells me he isn't coming over because he just found out that he has plans to go with his sister to see their mother for mothers day. But couldn't he come over after? He says something about not wanting to disrespect my family by coming over so late in the evening???
I don't know. I don't understand. I sob at this information. I knew it. I knew that I had gotten my hopes up too high and he was going to bring them right back down. I tell my best friend about this and she isn't too happy about this either.
She does a Google search for his name and finds him on a couple of profile look up things and one of these profiles says he's married. It also says that the person who is supposed to be his sister that lives in the same house and has 3 kids is also married. I was suspicious about their relationship from the beginning but I've left it alone. I think that they might actually be siblings and not married to each other.
Anyway, unbeknownst to him, I've found his address. I'm not stupid, Jon. I used the property tax search that you can find on any US county website to find his address. It only works if you know their county, their name, and whether or not they are the actual owner of the property.
Moving on, Jon told me he had to work Monday and Tuesday, but he's off Wednesday and Thursday. I'm desperate for some physical touch (cuddles, really) so I'm giving him another chance. He should be coming over tomorrow unless Wednesday happens to be, like, mothers day part 2. 🙄
For now, he doesn't know that he's in the doghouse.
I should be sleeping right now but I just can't stop thinking about him coming over and me asking to search his phone to prove that I have every reason to trust him and whatnot. If he doesn't have anything to hide, me searching his phone shouldn't be a problem. If he isn't hiding anything, I'll apologize for doubting him. I'll let him take my phone apart if he can prove his innocence. I just want to feel secure.