May 03, 2020

 

Ho boy, here we go. Now that I'm almost 18 and gave found confidence to stand up for myself, thing have developed in an interesting way. I have met my soul mate, to whom I lost my virginity. He's nothing like I've ever seen before! He's the kindest, most precious person I've ever known, and I love him with every fibre of my being. In August, it'll be one year since we've begun dating. Time sure flies by. 

The other guy... He tried coming between us two times, almost succeeding, but we managed to pull through. It had left some consequences though.. And it's all my fault. 

Whenever I pick up a new game, by hubby thinks I'm playing with him... He's paranoid, he has reoccurring nightmares... All because of me. Yet he holds me in such high regards, he looks up to me and thinks he's not good enough for me. When I think the opposite, I think he's too good for me, I see myself as a total disappointment, a let down.. He had a few episodes.. Thinking that I'd be better off without him. 

That way of thinking is all my fault, and it's killing me up inside. I can't stand to see my hubby do hurt.. I'm trying to help him in every way I can. So far so good.. 

His family likes me, which is a really good thing. It might be foolish of me to think this so early, but I really want to marry this wonderful person. I want to grow old with him. I've never loved someone so genuinely before. He's perfect. 

If only this quarantine wouldn't keep us apart.. I want to hold him so bad I want to kiss his cute face again. Hopefully this thkng blows over soon.. 
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