Dear Diary -
So...face my dreams, maybe they won't be so scary anymore? These memories that plague me, sometimes they get all jumbled, like there's cross over in the dreams, the events get all mixed up sometimes...
Dream Journal - I was sitting at my desk, working, typing up memos for the head shed. I could feel him watching me, MW moved his office around so that no matter where I sat he could always watch me. This eerie, skin crawling feeling, with the hair on the back of my neck standing up. I would come in early, and I would stay late sometimes, and so did he. I swear I even saw him drive by my house sometimes. I could never prove it, but I always just knew, the little things that started showing up were from him. It started small, my favorite kind of pen, or favorite candy, then got weird...jewelry, flowers... letters... I never accepted any of it, I would just put it in the corner. Then I started getting gifts on my car, in my car, on the front door step... All the little things, sitting next to me in meetings, always making sure I was his assistant for events, finding ways to be near me, brushing up against me... Then came the beginning of the end of my overtime... he started cornering me when ever we were alone. He started telling me how much he wants me, how much he likes me. I then started trying to make sure I was never alone. I got hurt, and had to have ankle surgery, so I was out of the office for a while. I started getting this sick feeling for a few days, and then he knocked on my door. He was there with another co-worker. I wasn't getting around really well, I tried to greet them at the door, but did my best to not let them in. But then about 6 hours later he came back alone, I thought it was my neighbor who sometimes helped me with dinner, so I opened the door with my guard down, he just pushed his way into the house. I kept asking him to leave, and he wouldn't said that he was there to check in on me, pulled me over to my couch and pulled me into his lap. I tried to fight and struggle, he then reached down and grabbed my ankle that had the surgery, pain just went from my toes to my shoulders. He started to try to touch me everywhere, and kiss me anywhere, I kept pushing away and avoiding as much as could through the pain. I started to cry and yell, my phone rang, and he got nervous and decided to leave. My neighbor was calling to apologize for being late, I tried to get myself together and let her know that I wasn't up for company. I finally was well enough to navigate though work, but he was acting bolder and more aggressive by then. I tried to talk to my boss, and see about moving my office, or a re-assignment...anything...but nothing happened. He would start to come up behind me and give me bear hugs, and all kinds of advances. Even trying to put his hands in my clothes. If it wasn't for my boss RP coming back early one day to catching MW, behind me, pinned me against a wall, his hand down my pants, the other hand with me hair twisted in it holding me in place and heard MW telling me in my ear, "don't worry, I had a vasectomy to make sure I don't get you pretty things pregnant" I could only imagine how far things would have eventually gotten.
I normally wake up at that point. One would think that the vindication of him being caught in the act by someone, someone who was on my side would give me some kind of closure. RP (my boss) filed papers, they made sure I never had to see him again, even when it went to a trial. The investigator let me know after everything was completed and closed that they found other women and cases in other states that he would travel through that got added onto my case. He lost everything, his wife and kids, his retirement, job...all kinds of things. He still haunts my dreams, one of many, but still makes his appearances in my dreams. I normally wake up with a jolt and crying.