April 24, 2020

 

Dear Diary, 


I am trying to figure out what to do about this depression.  It goes beyond not having time with my husband... It's the loss of interest in everything.  I used to love work, and now I can't even seem to make myself focus on it at all.  I used to love playing some different video games, and now I can't even make myself turn them on...  Talking to people, sometimes friends want to call or online chat, and it just makes me even more depressed when I do talk to them, so I started to avoid that even.  I usually love to cook, and that has become flavorless, and minimal... I feel sorry for my dog, I have even stopped walking her and just let her run around the back yard more.  I was never really big about going out anyways, so I am not missing shopping or bars or whatnot...

My nightmares have been getting worse and more frequent again.  Always bad memories.  Sometimes I have even started doubting the memories cause they get so blended and jumbled in my dreams.  Sometimes there are things in my dreams that I don't remember too...

I don't what to sleep, I don't want to do things, I don't know what to do.  I try to make myself do things, and it just adds to the sadness...

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