April 14, 2020

 

Dear Diary,


          I hate being screamed at, especially at 7 in the morning. If i wanted that i’d join the military lol. I just got diagnosed with babesiosis which is causing me memory loss, i’m losing my balance, extreme fatigue, visual disturbances, extreme hot flashes and night sweats and extreme depression and body aches. It is actually extremely rare. It’s due  to a tick bite by a deer tick that was infected with the parasite babesia. Of course, it would only be me to get something so rare. I’ve been complaining of these symptoms for years and every doctor told me it was my anxiety. This has been wreaking havoc on my since 2012 and i’m trying to do the best i can, with not only that but having asperger’s and anxiety on top of it. No one ever wants to take into consideration i’ve been dealing with an unknown physical illness for 8 years, simply pushing myself through day by day with such little energy it hurts to move. But nope, nothing is ever good enough. I forgot to send one letter. ONE. And i’ve been made to feel like the biggest fuck up in the world and this is why my life is a mess. No i simply forgot, i have a parasite running through my body ruining my nervous system and god knows the left over damage now that i’m starting to be treated for it. Just give me a break, just one. Why must i fight so hard every single day of my life? 

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