Dear Diary,
I know that its not fair to call my life a struggle, i know that i am doing much much better then people who may be sleeping in cold today with mosquitoes and no blanket, may not have had dinner. Their life is struggle, mine is luxury. I know it. But still i come home today frustrated, feeling lost, lost like, like loossing lost. Its not so uncommon these days, infact its becoming frequent. I wish i wasnt feeling so responsible and i wish i were working under someone and not be a boss. So i wont have the burden. And i wont be responsible if something dint work well.
With all the Chinese products in the market with dirt cheap prices, i don't see any one amazing idea with which we can just break the market. I don't know if sandeep's ideas are good or bad, but i don't like the fact that he has zero zeal for learning or listening. He is always hell bent on what he says, and sometimes i know that he is wrong, technically. That makes me doubt his plans all together. But the worst thing is that, i don't have a solid plan either. That's when i feel frustrated, that if we fail, it'll be my fault too, the burden of so many people, their jobs, their lives too.
I am fighting with small small problems, The laptop thing would really kill me if i couldn't find something soon. Sold me macbook and this HP thing in my hand cant work. Wasted my whole day today, on small issues and then internet went off. Day waste. No progress today.
But then i also know that i dont always feel this bad, even though the situation is same. So i know that its something with me, my brain or body. I think all these thoughts are result of the excess fat in me. I need to run few miles and do some meditation, i was feeling so awesome when i returned from ladakh. I felt like telling these things to someone, but that too is a bad sign, its an indication that my brain want to remain attached with this frustration, because otherwise it would get rid of it, forget it quickly. I need to fix myself. i am running tomorrow morning for sure.