03.02.2020
I am not depressed. It's just that I noticed a pattern in my behavior.
I can be really passionate about my personal development. I changed a lot of times — for better or for worse. I look for a role model around me and pick up a trait of them that I want to acquire. And even if it's scary, I try to incorporate it to myself.
But change can be tiring, too. After a spike of motivation is the long period of rest. Welcome to my insecurity phase. I wonder, if a mediocre person like me — who have no dreams I am dead set to achieve — be able to amount to anything in this lifetime.
That's me now.
I am helpless that opportunities come when a person is tired. Maybe this is the universe calling me back to motivation but... I don't know anymore. I am just clouded with uncertainties and all I want to do is get through everything. I am so tired despite understanding how my problem might be merely a child's play.