Dear Diary,
As always, so many things. I want to write to you everyday, but then you know i am so lazy. But these days i am also real busy. Work at office is also too much. That brings me to to my first topic. Struggle. Difficulties.
Sometimes things get really really difficult, i feel like quitting so many times. At times i feel so drained out and feeling like i am going nowhere, and these problems just never seem to end. And sometimes i get so irritated with sandeep, but then i tell myself, no one is perfect, me neither, i also do so many mistakes, how can i expect my partner to be perfect(perfect means he thinking the same way i do.. -_-). But then how can i work, if i believe that it wont work the way i thought. But then in evening Kishore talked to me, and he explained me few things. He is very mature. He explained me how we are at a stage where we also have to derisk things and whats essential for that. He is very logical and he also tries to understand things. I know that all and all, we are not doing bad, infact we are in a very good position, at this point we have a potential to explode given some fortunate events. And had i been alone, this wouldn't be possible. So it's team's efforts.
Then coming to Aha moments. Yesterday once again while trying to solve the GPIO15 problem we tried 100 different things and finally found a fault in GPIO13 :o I dont understand, why god(or whoever is running the show) is putting these weird problems and the weird solutions in front of us. It seemed so weird yesterday, but it taught me few things about capacitors and delaying signals and stuff, which i think now i'll never forget in life and which i would have never learned otherwise. Infact to my surprise (Not actually) Mayur, coming from a electronics background did not simply try an RC Circuit with proper values, maybe because we are sometimes busy looking for complicated solutions when easier and simpler solutions just skip our minds.
Then about the last sunday, Everyone came home. Chay,Akshay,Bhavna and Sarita. We started talking recently and i said sorry to her. I missed her so much all this while. We told everything, highlights of the year. I am just not expecting anything now. I don't want to loose her again, if i am honest with you, its true that i have a hope, i'll always have it. But it wont hurt me now. I'll be happy when she is happy.
Dawrani is very serious about the food business. He is my only friend (only Brother friend) and we always wanted to do something together, but i dont know what to do, the idea doesn't excite me too much, I want to work on bigger problems of the world, Energy, Information, Science, Technology. And affecting people in masses, being number one of something. But all the food ideas looks very small, and very hazy too. But for the first time he is very serious, and i must support him. But i am not getting time out of Kiot right now and it doesn't excite me much. It's like OK OK, i like my current work much more and it has some alignment with what i want to do. The problem is that i also haven't figured out exactly what i want to do. Which problem can i solve ? I haven't figured it out yet. And i don't know how long it's going to take also. I dont know what will we do...
I did not write to you anything about the wedding (Monika's wedding). One special thing is that, manik mama asked me on stage, about my marriage thing and i gave all those people a very bad speech and in the end i said
give me just this one year, next year you can tie me with someone. But i know that one year is just too small, It's not enough time for me to figure out anything. I am not getting any time right now to think on anything apart from the ongoing issues at the company.
Just one year, 2 Months have passed already. I told mama that Mujhe taaron me kuchh khojna he, kuchh karna hE. But i am really clueless about what i want to do. It'll be so bad, i'll be a very bad example for children after me in home.
Anyway, good news are - Dawrani's family is moving to bangalore, Ginni is going to london, Devesh got into AWS London, Got a call from Meera in morning today. She got Berkley. Its like dream coming true. She always inspires me. And she said something about believing in yourself earlier to me. Happy for her.
Jagjit singh is on now. Found top 50 Playlist. Its sugar.
Buenos Noches... ❤️