I go to college for culinary arts. It's just a community college that has the program, and I need to do my general education. The program started out okay, and I felt good about moving forward with something, but the more I attend to these classes the more I feel like it's not for me. I like to cook and bake, but doing it as a career doesn't sit well with me anymore. I don't like the fast paced, chaotic kitchens and business a food establishment would bring. And every time I think about going to school, I just have this dread about my major. I know I can change my major any time I want, but I already spent this much time in it. I might as well just see to graduating with this. My gen ed classes don't make me feel like I'm running blind like this culinary arts program. They're actually not bad at all. It's just the food classes I hate going to.

It's not even that it's terribly bad and hard, and I don't know why I feel this way. When I'm attending to the class I don't feel this way, but when I'm away, I look back on it and dread it.

Before I even started college I told myself that after culinary arts is done, I will go and attend to an art college, or take some art classes. But these days I don't know how well that would go. I always hear bad things about art schools, and how stressful it is. But i want to learn more, and have an excuse to throw myself into artwork where I can focus on it.

My plan with culinary arts started out that I wanted to open my own restaurant. But now that I experience the chaos of it, I don't want that. What I thought instead is to have a cafe library. Kind of like a barns and nobles, but smaller. I want to make a chill atmosphere where anyone is free to just hang around, have coffee/tea and snacks, and read, or do whatever they like in cafes.

I do feel good about going with this. I just know management and accounting classes will be hard, but... bring it on. Let's see how I do. I have to take them anyways with culinary arts.