Dear Diary,
It's been a while since I was able to sleep properly. Since the mid of September, I have been experiencing insomnia. I go to bed around my normal sleep time 1130-12, then i toss and turn around with loo breaks in between, until its 2 am and then sometime in between 2 and 3 am, i fall asleep. I have tried to various things,...but somehow i dunno what's happening. I am not able to break this pattern. My mom thinks i sleep too much and i dont have proper habits waking up around 9 am..it's not that i do it on purpose, I just cant sleep on time.
The other day i woke up and my whole back and knees were hurting so bad. What happened...
I have floaters in my eyes, dysmenorrhea and hemorrhoids during periods,I cant sleep,my bones are giving up,..I'm not even 25 and I already feel like my body is starting to break down.
With all these issues, I feel like a major health crisis is just around the corner.Idk what i would do if it happens when I'm 1000s of miles away from home and on my way to go back to college...that's another thing.
These days I worry about my grad school admissions...it feels so lonely doing it all alone,..sometimes i feel like I'm not cut out for it,...i feel like grad school is just a way for unis to suck out our hard earned money...i am going through a lot of conflicting emotions...sometimes i feel like i'm not worthy enough to belong with people who do it.
I keep telling myself
This too shall pass...
Love,
M