Dear Diary,
So first of all i am going to go back to dear diary, these "letter" are not like my other, first letters, so.
I am worried for myself. More like scared.
i am at my new job and i am really liking it. And i believe i am good at it. And i have been going to hard working 8 hour shifts almost everyday for like 2 weeks and its only going to get worse. And i am feeling good even tho the days are so long. i feel that i am manic. Like yesterday before my shift i went in the starbucks bathroom and i cut myself, then i went back in the bathroom and cut my wrist, in the way that would kill you and i knew that and i didn't care. and then i went to work and was fine better then fine. and so back to i am scared. and i have that urge. ok so i am going to get a little graphic so you might not want to read it
I want to bleed, like a lot, like the time when i pasted out. But more from my wrist, and i want to feel that sting and feeling i get from that. I want to go deep and bleed. honestly it feels so good, like i can even tell you how it feels but i want it so bad i have to i need to sorry but i am going to