November 19, 2019
About the collage picture.. Bottom right was taken sept 28.. 2 weeks before his arrest... The top right was taken oct 18th.. One day after his arrest.. And the left picture of my upside down is month after I took. Back control of my life.. An out it back n my hands.. And continued to find back even today... I still struggle.. But im starting to see my shine again... My real self.. An let ne tell you ive not only missed the fuck out of myself... But im learning new things i never new about myself...
Finding me...
Theres so much i want to say in this entry and idk if ill have enough time... Ive had to admit alot of things tk myself that i didnt want to admit where true.. Ive had to and am still struggling to accept things that i know i cant handle anymore... Or at least right now.. That km no where bear ready for... But im finally learning to accept me for me.. To understand that i can am capable of forgiving myself for my past... And i may not be fully there yet atleast i know ib my heart... Im making progress... Ive made slme goals for my self that im going to be abke to achieve in the alloted myself time to succesfully achieve...
But most importantly im learning to accept that my life is never going to be normal... There are things that have happened that im going learn how to live with... And i believe im starting to fins the beauty in these "flaws" i have...i know its made me who i am today... And again I have to go day bye day... But these flaws are bringinf a new shine to my soul .. My inner beauty that I've never seen before.. Never felt before... In my collage picture ... The one with me n dax... I was barely holding onto myself... I was not on drugs... I had just about nearly given up the fight.. So much between me an justin had happened.. And so much had been taken from me.. So much i allowed to be taken from me... In more ways then ppl can contemplate... But im learning to live with it each an every day...
I had a bad niggt last night.. But today was so much better... Im not perfect.. But my flaws are what are making me me.. And im learning to accept that...
Loading...