October 19, 2019
Curve Ball
So i paid to answer his call last night... I dont understand why... Maybe its my need to always feel like i have to the last word... Maybe j needed some kind of closer... Idk... But by answering i broke... Not to him but infromt of my new roommate i came inside an i broke down...i know ove done some lretty shitty and idiotic things n my life... But im not am idiot... I know if i wsre to go and have tbe charges dropped an drop the injunction. Nothing woukd change... He would come home and s beat the shit out of me...i competly get that... And im not going to... But god this hurts so bad... Ive fallen so hard for this man...ive given him more of myself then ive ever even given myself... I want nothing more then to go an drop everything... And have him come home... And everything be better an happy like it was before...
But i realize 4 days in jail arnt going to change ur colors that quick... God knows it took me months in jail my first time tk get it... To even start realizing i needed to change...
Sometimes in life we come accross people that were only meant to teach us some of the hardest lessons we are meant to endure... But its up to us each individually to take that lesson and learn an grow from it an allow it to mold us into the better person we are trying to come... And life is going to thru curve balls to test us to see if we truly learned an to see if we do want bigger an better things... If we want to change si bad that we take the curve ball an throw it back... Or leave it were it lay...
What do you want SarBear... Do you truly want more for yourself... More for your life... Do you want to learn from this... Grow from this... Or are you going to push yourself farther down in your rabbit whole that youve been busting your ass to crawl out off...
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