September 26, 2019

So I got a message off facebook from a guy I went to hs with...conversation led from one thing to another and he asks me out on a date...  Mind u we leave a good HR an a half from each other an he knows I live ith Justin...  I said yes...  I said yes because me an Justin are not dating...  His made very clear of that an told me to go out on dates if that's what I want...  

What I want is not feel alone an miserable and feel like I'm a lost cause...  So I said yes...  I'm sure it will lead to nowhere..  But I don't have friends...  I don't go out...  I don't meet people...  So maybe this ill be good to just get out with someone... As a friend...  Not feel like I'm undeserving of attention or feel like in going to mess something up... Just go out an try to be me... Besides...  I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life...  Maybe this is a start to not being alone...  Getting out an away from this apartment... From him...  Because I can't help but feel old when I'm around him because of everything that's happened... Because I know his leaving either way...