Dear Diary,
Friday my world turned upside down. everything that made me happy had just dissipated. everything I worked so hard to keep around just vanished.
Friday my friend that lived quite a bit away from me decided to take their life. take their life using a method id told them about. (apple seeds hold high levels of snide poison in them, if you eat enough of the seeds it will begin to shut down your body just as it did his.) what kills me beyond the fact that he killed himself was that he killed himself because I could barely remember him due to an accident.
this summer I'd been ALMOST hit by a car. I was on my bike heading home from a babysitting job. id swerved out of the way so that the car wouldn't hit me. my bike tires met gravel and fell from under me. my head had hit the pavement so hard it had bounced off. it had rattled my brain so much it damaged parts of my brain. now I'm plagued by a constant anxiety attack and several memories I can no longer remember. the emptiness of those missing memories has become overbearing.
these missing memories wouldn't bother me if it hadn't taken a life and ruined my relationship with my sister. my little sister I guess has always had a thing against me. something having to do with the fact that I didn't play with her as much as she wanted me to. now I wake up every morning to things like
"your useless"
"your worthless"
"I hate you"
"no one likes you"
"You can't do anything right"
no eleven-year-old should tell their sixteen-year-old sibling those things.
these are my burdens to bear. these are my demons. these are things that will kill me one day.
sincerely,
DARK PLACES,
age 16.