My ECT Journey:
Now I'm glad I'm keeping this log. Not only are very old memories returning with extreme detail .... l find that I have more memory loss than I realized. Nothing detrimental and making me wish to stop.
However, I'm still depressed and hoping for relief and will sacrifice some short term memory for that.
I do stay away from the extreme horror stories. I do have trust in my doctor. However, I'm afraid to be completely honest with him because if he stops now then what? Terrifying.
On the other hand I shouldn't withhold information either. He is the one qualified to decide to either way.
Tomorrow is treatment #8. If you would have told me years ago I'd end up here I would not have believed you. However, looking over all these years it should not surprise me. I knew it was coming last summer. So here I am.
Last summer my friend Ruth told me she had ECT, 10 years ago, and after a lifelong of repeated bouts of depression she never had another episode. Ruth passed away over the winter. I trusted her completely and still do. I so wish I could call her now. I miss her so.
I'm forgetting things yes, like, I found a box of pants that I don't remember buying my daughter. And that wasn't so long ago. I've tried to tell my dad things I've already told him. Things like that. I can accept that stuff for a greater good.
I'm hoping to feel better after tomorrow's treatment. He scheduled me for a total of twelve. However, he stated it doesn't absolutely mean I'll get that many.
Oh, and I did a little picking up but really have to push myself to do more. I know that can make me feel better too.
Thank you to all who are keeping track of this journey of mine. You are all appreciated.