June 09, 2019

6
Comments

Dear Diary,

I am 30. I have accomplished nothing in life. Coming from a family where college education is valued above life itself does not help. I have a father who is what you would call a toxic and narcissistic parent. I only realised this recently. The person who helped me become the damaged individual I am today. Someone who cannot understand relationships or friendships or family. My self esteem is low. My self confidence is lower. I don't believe I am worth anything. My parents still try to control me and I do not have enough money to move to another country not now. I will work on that though. But realising who my father truly is after valuing every word that dropped from his mouth. Not being allowed to think for myself. Not being allowed to choose. Only what he chose for me was right. 


Anyway I am now working on building my self esteem. I read that you have to say positive things to yourself and find positive things about yourself. Celebrate small victories. No matter how small. I am starting on it from today. I have to rebuild myself but i worry about time. I want to start a career I am truly happy with but I don't know what good qualities i have. I have to work on that. 

Any one have any suggestions?

Anyone overcoming something similar?

S
Sa31✓
Jun 9, 2019 · 43 views

Comments (6)

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S
Sa31Jun 17, 2019

thanks both of you!!

M
meruJun 10, 2019

It does help....😃

M
meruJun 10, 2019

But soon i realised if i dont try new things, im basically giving up on myself. Right now, my belief is that the path to figuring it out is by trial and error. I keep trying out new things. Whether i like it or not, in the end, i come out learning something about myself better. And that i firmly believe gets me 1 step closer to finding out my true purpose.. every day i get up and march forward keeping this in mind...

M
meruJun 10, 2019

I also deal with the issue of not knowing what to make of my life or career. I was afraid of try8ng new things, because i was afraid, what if i find out its not the right thing for me....then i would have to start from scratch again...

M
meruJun 10, 2019

I havent had narcissistic parents. But ive had narsicisstic friends. People who ive valued so much telling me in the end that im not worth much or i dont have sufficient qualities to make it big in the world. That my dreams dont matter and so on. Not directly but u get it.

B
Bhavu🤓Jun 9, 2019

Dunno what to say like i didn't understood everything you trying to say but all i can say is just be positive, like read some good motivating articles and like try to spend sometime with urself that would help you to figure out ur good qualities and ur plus points..cuz i believe that every individual has something good in it ☺️

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"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength."

— Criss Jami