June 09, 2019

 

Dear Diary,

I am 30. I have accomplished nothing in life. Coming from a family where college education is valued above life itself does not help. I have a father who is what you would call a toxic and narcissistic parent. I only realised this recently. The person who helped me become the damaged individual I am today. Someone who cannot understand relationships or friendships or family. My self esteem is low. My self confidence is lower. I don't believe I am worth anything. My parents still try to control me and I do not have enough money to move to another country not now. I will work on that though. But realising who my father truly is after valuing every word that dropped from his mouth. Not being allowed to think for myself. Not being allowed to choose. Only what he chose for me was right. 


Anyway I am now working on building my self esteem. I read that you have to say positive things to yourself and find positive things about yourself. Celebrate small victories. No matter how small. I am starting on it from today. I have to rebuild myself but i worry about time. I want to start a career I am truly happy with but I don't know what good qualities i have. I have to work on that. 

Any one have any suggestions?

Anyone overcoming something similar?

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