I finally told DMcD how I felt. It was pretty shitty of me for not really saying anything sooner, but it's not like neither of us knew this was going to happen. He knew before we matched on bumble that he would be moving at the end of July. I told him how I felt about long distance relationships but I stupidly thought that maybe we could work something out. That was just naive.

So I told him how it felt like he became emotionally distant while he also became physically distant. I told him how I need physical touch in a relationship and he wouldn't be able to provide it at such a distance.

He understood. He agreed. He wants me to be happy. He told me not to cry.

How could I not, imagining how this must feel for him? My heart broke for him.

I hope he finds someone close by to love and cherish.

I told Da that I've cut ties with DMcD. Da told me, "It’s okay princess. It’s hard, but you and he both know it’s for the best for the both of you." "Awww, I wish I could hold you to comfort you. He’ll be okay, he can take it. Just like if you chose him over me. I would have been okay. Sad, but I would have been okay."

I was so lucky to have two guys pursuing me at the same time and they weren't jealous of the other. I mean, DMcD is probably jealous of Da now...

Da and I talked a little about our dating search and our preferences. When he was looking for a potential date, he said he had already accepted the fact that he would probably end up being a step-parent. I told him that for the most part I avoided people who had kids, except one guy who had a (I think) 2 year old son. I was totally willing to step up and be a step-mom and deal with his singular cat, but he ghosted me. His loss.

I told Da that with me, "You hit the jackpot then. You don't have to start with a pre-existing kid. You get to make your own eventually. Maybe."

He replied, "You really are a Jack pot🥰! I found a super gorgeous girl, with similar interests, funny, no kids, a great connection, a surprise that she’s really frisky and can s-----, willing to work around my inexperience. What more could I ask for!"

It feels really good to know he values me. I can't wait to see him.

ItsmeC's Dear Diary