Dear God, I feel very big pressure in connection with X. Am so exhausted. This character. I just can't stand. And communicate so close with the person who eats meat. It is ureal.

I am sorry. For sure. Yesterday also M. has said something with the purpose to low me. I was feeling it. At least... Like this. I am afraid she is thinking too much about her work without being focused on communication with You

Sure, I am sad. That I can't communicate with X never more. But. His disrespectful attitude. For me its too much. I can't communicate with person that offends me after the single work without understanding it.

God, I am dreaming about having friends vegans. With whom I will can to be real close. Friends... And after it. H.

God... I am so jealous of our Y. They have so many journeys. But not me.

After G has started to go out, I feel me so not needed there. Where I am now.

And afraid to fo out and/ot do at least something.

I have so many fears. And zero money

And I know that I should control my type of thinking. And all these stuff. But I ma not.

After yesterday... I feel me so offended.

And...

I feel me. Like having no. Zero. Friends. Real.

Cos...

I feel like all them are on other side.

Yesterday's I haven't came. Out. I think it's bad...

God... I am afraid about my life.

I feel me. Like X doesn't need me at all. I feel me like all those people around him are so much more precious for him that me. And also. I feel like he hates me. God. I am so exhausted. I just can't communicate with him. Sorry. Every sentence it is like try to kill me and my personality. He is not even my H. I don't want to waste time in trying to communicate. When I can just serve to You.

Sure it's bad. Cos. All those time. I am thinking about X. But... I don't know.

I am done. I can't to do nothing even more.

Please, solve these all.

My life for right now for me looks like mistake. Everything thta is going on.

I know that I need to be thankful and lalalla.

But... I don't know. I am just trying to avoid. Everything.

My life has started to be similar to a nighmare...

I have very bad dreams. I mean. The fact tht I have it... It is bad. I don't like it. And hate.

M doesn't respect me... Ahe yesterday has said very unpleasant words.... Through smth.

I hate it. And hate myself.

Communication with X started so toxic that I can't communicate with him evenmore.

I just can't. It kills me. I can't.

I am done. If he has found someone there. Let's do it. I don't need him.

God... I have so many problems. And I have so many undone tasks from You that I feel me ao sad in this connection...

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to solve.

People and You tell me to do and to do for Your glory.

You know my heart. And secret wishes.

You know everything.

I give it to You. I am done. I can't nothing by myself.

Giseham's Dear Diary