Dear Diary,

Kemper told me this morning that sleeping in the same bed is nice. I agree!

He said last night that maybe he was used to it but he never really noticed before how often the wolves howl. I don’t know how you could miss it. It’s pretty and loud.

It was actually nice enough today to walk around outside. I pet the lone horse in its corral. His name is Chief.

I also learned something new today. I asked where his mom came up with the name Kemper and he laughed and said it’s a nickname, his real first name is Lee. She always called him that because he was real good at rolling her joints! 😳 I thought he was joking but he said no, she was always too shaky to do it herself so she taught him. We have talked a little of his childhood and it wasn’t real positive. For someone who had a mom like her, he really turned out good. He said that is because when she left and his adoptive parents took him in, he could actually be a kid, have regular meals, clean clothes that fit him, clean house, a bed to sleep on. He also wasn’t locked in a closet while his mom “worked”. I feel for him in that regard. He said it was good because she sometimes got beat up really good and that way he was never found. Although sometimes it was a day or two before she let him out.

I about started crying when he told me all of that. My childhood was a lot different.

He said he is happy she left him and dropped him off at the clubhouse because she knew they would take care of him.

It kind of made me think of a lot of my dumb decisions and how it has affected Jax, or will affect him.

After our little walk, I just am feeling down mentally. Too much reflection on my part. I hate myself for what I have done

Amy 's Dear Diary