I can't do it anymore's Dear Diary

Dear Diary, It's been awhile. Don't worry, I'm not in a bad state this time. Just wanted to note this down so I can get it off my mind. Funny how I've been living for 24 years and only figured out that writing makes me forget. Wait no, I've

Dear Diary, I don't understand why I have to suffer. I was doing fine. But everything decided to say. Fuck you. It's okay. I said fuck you back. But that doesn't mean I'm feeling okay. I want some peace in my life. But work is stressful.

If there's anything I want in this world. It's 'nothing'. 'Nothing' gives me freedom. 'Nothing' tells me there's nothing to worry about. 'Nothing' will never betray me. I want 'Nothing'. Why can't people be 'nothing'. 'Nothing' will never think. 'Not

Scoffed at this statement. I'm already forgotten anyways. So what am I to lose if I die, isn't it? Nothing matters. Life doesn't matter. People don't matter. I don't matter. Why do we have to suffer? What is it that makes us continue wanting to live?

What am I carrying today? Here I am, starting over… again. It's become almost routine—this cycle of beginning again. I’m not discouraged by it, because in a way, I have no choice but to keep trying. For every failure in the past, I've gained some

One Week Alcohol-Free This past week has been transformative for me. Last Sunday, I felt utterly worthless and hopeless, questioning my purpose. However, on Monday, everything changed when I decided to start an intellectually stimulating activity: I

Today, I find myself sitting with the weight of my own pain, and it feels heavier than ever. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m trapped in a never-ending cycle of hurt and helplessness. From a young age, I’ve faced relentless bullying and abuse at ho

Dear Diary, Today marks the third day in a row that I haven't had a drink. While this might not seem like a big deal since I don't drink daily—typically only once a month—the way I've been drinking has been quite upsetting. I've recognized a clear

Dear Diary, Today, I am grateful that I didn't drink. Yesterday, I listened to a Buddhist lama on YouTube, and his words really resonated with me. He said that vices don't really exist and that all we need to do is wash off the dirt of our true natu

Dear Diary, Today feels like a significant day, one that I hope marks a turning point in my life. I am writing this entry with a mix of hope and determination, wanting to make a heartfelt commitment to myself. I have an alcohol use disorder, and the