Dear Diary, today I read a book that makes me doubt all the people especially male and feel miserable about being female in this society. Again, why I chose to read this kind of things that make me feel miserable about my upcoming life as an adult…

I started doubt my male friend who keeps texting me is actually just wants me as a thing to comfort him… when I last time met him I felt very uncomfortable. because he kept reacting to things I wasn’t like he expected to me saying like “that’s sounds uncommon as a GIRL to me that’s very interesting!”

I didn’t know how to respond well at that time. I keep ignoring his texts when he sent me… that’s my problem and weakness… maybe he will understands or give it a try…

But the problem is…he kept judge me based on what he thinks girls are AFTER I came out as non binary and he told me he could be my best friend. I don’t want to judge people based on what labels they have like male and female. Especially it’s about people I know in person. And I told him that I am non binary female. Why he kept telling things about me based on what he thinks about girls are. Pay me some money if you want me to be a “girl” who comfort you as how you like!!!!

I remember my friend in Uni once told me her story. She had clashed for a man who looked cute to her. I remember how she reported every time she saw him or talk to him. Then one day she told me that he invited her to a party and somehow he tried to stay with her at hotel while she was considering about how late it would be. She said she couldn’t believe what he was trying to do to her and ask her male friend because she didn’t want to judge him like that by herself. Oh she learned after she explained it by herself.

The book could be way heavier tho, I could learn from others experience……? Or it’s just gave me unnecessary negative bias… or not

Self defense doesn’t change this society drastically even if I google about it for hours how to react to such things.

But after I found some articles about how not to react informations so negatively, hmm I felt a little better. One of them says negative person is more likely to overlook true evils because they think almost everything is evil. I thought it’s good to remember…

hmm I didn’t mean to write about this aspect of today… but uh… what else…I forgot…err… oh I played ring fit adventure today. There were so many squats I had to do and my knees are kinda powerless lol.

I love you morgan presley! You encourage all the females live in the society needs to understand about feminism…like where I live…

can not sleep too much blue light😑😑😑😑meh

😒 I wish I don’t have aspect of people pleaser… I don’t know why but I tend to try to take care of others feeling even they are not deserve to be treated like my friends and family deserve it. It’s not fair to treat economy class passengers like first class passengers who paid more, right? I know if I do, economy class passengers feel happy but it’s not really fair thing to do. But how I can switch my kindness levels without pushing me. I don’t think I am smart enough to do that.

Doa🦑's Dear Diary