I thought to myself before God why are we on this place. I know with my whole being that we should be here. And even if I would think about our life, our former life far away from this place as I would recall the much better convenience and provision , I still do not have any regrets why we left that place. I do not know why but it is just it. I do not regret that we moved back to my native land. Why am I saying this? In this place, there are some inconveniences and discomfort. One is the inaccessibility of transportation from the house to the commercial areas especially we do not have yet our own car. Second is the unscheduled brownouts any time of the day from 10 minutes to few hours and sometimes several hours. Another is the insufficient supply of water. And also worth to mention as much as I want my mother to be with us so we can take care of her, I discovered her to be most of the time having a negative energy full of cares in this world. All of what I mentioned are not found in our former place. And yet as I reflected on this kind of life, I know somehow why God led me to go back to this place. In the midst of inconvenience and discomfort, I know that God wants me to live in perfect peace, the true shalom of God. It is that peace beyond understanding. When Apostle Paul was imprisoned, he experienced all the inconveniences and discomfort much worse than we are experiencing right now and yet he encouraged his followers to rejoice always. How can he say that? Not only that perfect peace was within him in prison, he also had joy. These through the fellowship that he had with the Father God, Son and Holy Spirit.

So that is the reason. God intends me to experience His peace, His joy, His comfort, everything that He purposed to know HIM in a much deeper way whatever the outward circumstances may be. The experience that is not dictated by outside natural forces but the experience that is found only in His presence and fellowship and intimacy.

Izz's Dear Diary