3rd exam Medical Surgical today, some how I have a feeling I did well. Over half the cohort is failing it. I slept only 2 hours just to cover the material. 8 chapters. Every detail. I ate lunch after the exam and passed out. My sleep schedule is horrible.

My bf quit his job last night. He sent me a text screenshot. He ended up walking out after something happened with his pay. I tried to ask him what happened, if he ever discussed with someone? He tends to be impulsive, he has a problem with people in authority if he feels like they are looking down on him. But his texts are vague. I don't know if he ever really fully thinks things thru. All he does is react.

I'm the opposite. I tend to be the peace maker, sometimes to a fault and take on things because I don't like relying on others. At my old job i was always the work horse and took on way too much because I thought not giving up gave me a feeling integrity.

But that's the illusion we are given by shitty employers.

To them:

Not giving up = you did a good thing. Over extending yourself = being a good employee.

Taking abusive treatment by other coworkers or staff = you're a team player.

Not complaining when you're clearly getting taken advantage of = you are grateful for this job

Not complaining when your boss' husband is inappropriate with you = you have your priorities in place

It's all a bunch of crap. This was the reason I left. They day I realized what made me have integrity in what I did didn't have a definition that my employer could ever understand was the day I turned in my resignation.

I'm over here struggling to get thru school but it's at these times when I remind myself why I'll never let a job do that. This is why I'm pushing so hard to get my license and change my stars.

HimalayanCompanion's Dear Diary