Tonotbescared's Dear Diary

Index
April 14, 2023
Dear Diary, i need to start forgiving myself for mistakes i have in situations so she stops going thru it again trying to make it right.
Apr 13
April 14, 2023
Dear Diary, i am weak, every little step away from you, causes panic and shakes i couldn't seem to control, i would gladly sleep away my pain, but how can i when you haunt me in my dreams, and wake me up with my heart banging my chest, and mo
Apr 13
April 14, 2023
Dear Diary, to not be scared anymore, being alone might be scary, but that's like the coolest shit ever. p.s i am still scared.
Apr 13
New beginnings
So, hey. I am here again, after 6 months. Still figuring out life but getting so much better at it every single day. Before putting my thoughts to word right now, I went through all my previous drafts and it made me realise something of how even bein
Jan 14
Accepting that I can be scared too
'scary', 'vulnerable', 'fragile', 'emotional' I don't related to these words or atleast not Infront of people. As long as I can remember I've been that strong and confident person and lucky for me I never had to learn how be them, all my life I have
Jul 30
March 10, 2023
Is it okay to trust you?  and by trust I don't just mean loyalty but my emotions too, my understanding and all the sacrifices I will be willing to make. I will provide the trust but would I ever get it back? I will provide for your good and bad days
Mar 10
Its not all about him, but it is
After years of pain through life, fucked up relationships mentality torturing boyfriends, I gave up on love. I was still girl that wanted the pretty dates and endless love with all best of memories. I knew from a very young age that I needed a love t
Jul 23
June 03, 2022
Sometime I wonder why I even entered into this thing. I know I signed up for this and but it’s like too much to handle at times, especially when we cross through the insecurities part. Feeling the way you felt in the past and realising that the most
Jun 02
LOST
Most of my life's trauma comes because of my mom and the fun fact of it is I have spent almost all my life trying to impress her but I don't think its ever gonna be enough. You know that feeling where you wish you lost a few pounds or just looked tha
May 27
May 08, 2022
Since the day I met you, my life has changed. I always knew I deserved better but as you came into my life I'm convinced that I deserve nothing but the best. There never goes a day by where you don't make me feel like I am the luckiest person that I
May 08
LOVE
This is gonna too cliché, what I am gonna say next. It's been two months now of me dating him. This guy just suddenly came into my life out of nowhere, making me believe in that cringy love again. The Love, which was it for me and the same one on whi
May 01
poem
Hard to love She looks flawless from the outside, holding the perfect image.  The far you stay, the more you stray the closer you come, the more you burn.  Fire in her soul holds the flame. Flames of chaos, resistance and lack of trust, not
Apr 17
RANDOM
HARD TO LOVE  I wanna stop for a while, cause somehow with each day passing I believe its not easy to love me.  A friend of mine made me realize how suicide is a selfish act and I just hate it when he is right. It's a way of making people regret
Apr 17
HARD TO LOVE
Maybe I am or maybe I am not, but when is love ever easy? It's a hard pill to swallow when people say I am hard to love and it somehow makes me believe that I have been the reason why people gave up on me, and that's so hard to accept. Would I do th
Apr 17
April 15, 2022
Dear Diary, Today was a day full of work, the waves of emotions I feel all the time. I have realized throughout life that I feel too much and its quite scary when I understand its intensity. My panic and anxiety attacks are now become more than eve
Apr 15
"I LOVE YOU"
Dear Diary, He finally said it, actually the real thing is I finally accepted it. The way I feel for him is really different, he in ways reminds me of what love actually meant to me. On my way through life, I forgot the meaning of my love. I lose
Apr 12
HAPPY ACCIDENTS
All my life I have waited for my happy moment. I still remember a few years back I was asked to post a picture of the time I was at my happiest, and with the level of excitement I was looking for that one picture, but, I couldn't find it. All I found
Mar 17
March 17, 2022 "PRETTY BOY"
Dear Diary, It's been long since I last checked in, and I have this habit of not checking in as soon as good and different things starts happening. I met this guy, gonna refer to him as 'pretty boy'. He makes me feel different, I have liked people
Mar 16
August 29, 2020
Dear Diary,hung out with Sarah at the park it was so great I think I really like her so happy I went I almost didn't Greg still has my other shoe. anyway Sarah is coming over tomorrow I can't wait think she likes me too.
Aug 29
August 28, 2020
Dear Diary, it's Friday no mask for two days  met this girl in math class she is so nice we are hanging out to tomorrow. Can't wait first girl I ever ask. Have a ton of home work  that sucks Greg did it again after school I don't know why he likes to
Aug 29
August 26, 2020
Dear Diary, homework done  shower done clothes laid out  white shorts black shirt  black socks  black DC shoes well shoe hate Greg so much hope he gives my other one back tomorrow. Well now video games then bed
Aug 27
August 26, 2020
Dear Diary, welp school out mask suck long bus ride home gonna be in trouble I'm sure kinda hate school already well the people still glad to be at school
Aug 26
August 26, 2020
Dear Diary, guess this shows how boarding it is at school for a guy to start a dairy plus so far it sucks but more about that later I hoped that out of all the people that picked distance learning that Greg would he is a jerk. Which is why it sucks.
Aug 26
September 15, 2024
Dear Diary, I thought about what my mom said and if she goes back to the gym I want to go work out with her
Sep 15
August 24, 2024
Dear Diary, now I I'm in high school and 15 years old now in my sophomore year of high school after 11 grade and 12 grade when I go, to college was thinking getting cheek bone reduction and facial liposuction rhino plasty v- line surgery when I'm in
Aug 25
August 18, 2024
Dear Diary, I just deleted my sing videos today and l don't think l wish can sing in front of people but I'm too shy to sing in front of people maybe someday I get out of it one day I'm going to become singer
Aug 18
August 12, 2024
Dear Diary, i was thinking about taking vocals on my sophomore year of high school and I was wondering if i could ask  my mom to learn how to sing
Aug 13
July 30, 2024
Dear Diary, LORD BEFOR L GO TO BED JUST YOU TO l LOVE TO WRITE SONGS THIS SONGS ARE   MY LIFE L KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME
Jul 31
July 25, 2024
Dear Diary, when l become, and singer and songwriter l don't want to have kids I'm not saying kids are not bad they're a blessing but I'm scary to be like my mom I'm think about it cause my mom to do all of that yelling just if I want to have kids wh
Jul 25
July 21, 2024
Dear Diary, good morning god write some songs today l was thought about write song about my father l know haven't talk to him since l was trying to kill myself maybe when I'm in my 30s or 40s I may write this song I still care about you I know l'm 15
Jul 21
July 17, 2024
Dear Diary, I'm make my own beats l feel like the new  Quincy jones
Jul 17
June 01, 2024
Dear Diary, my mom was thinking of getting a new house when I get my own room, I want this piano I got my eye on this Fazioli f308 (10'3'') piano and when I get in my new room when we get new house
Jun 02
May 31, 2024
Dear Diary, " I wish I can dream about sing tonight in my sleep I just pray that I do
Jun 01
May 17, 2024
Dear Diary, I'M WRITE MY LRICAS BUT CAN'T FIND A SONG TITLE YET IT A LOVE SONG TRY TO FIND THE WORDS FOR IT
May 18
April 27, 2024
Dear Diary, l feel like write a truthful song in 2025 next year
Apr 27
April 06, 2024
Dear Diary, I star. write this song yesterday it makes me Happ give me joy!  I want to go to sing lessons.  I like to write songs.  I write romantic songs and pop songs, rnb song they both make me very happy when.im" on the school bus I think about l
Apr 07
March 25, 2024
Dear Diary, music love to write songs and sing. on YouTube like to share my songs on my channel  I am write one right now March 22.  Friday I went to a career. feld it turn out so lam.  and want be singer when i grown up. I want to change  the want m
Mar 26
March 05, 2024
Dear Diary,  l write song about women history. it call strong women it about strong who are strong. who don,t  need men
Mar 06