Earlier this year, in this very diary, I asked myself, why bad things happen. May be I know the answer now. If I am happy, I would be so confident and high, that I try make my belief system strong. I wouldn't think anything against my beliefs. I made my life turning decision when I was sad/low. Being sad/low gives you time to think, align your thoughts, make promises.

I wanted to write this note so badly since almost 12 hours. It all started yesterday night around 11PM, I knew something, which made me so anxious. I was scared as hell. If I get into that situation, It would be the worse, like an end-game. But the bright side is the odds of that situation coming true are very slim. Logically thinking, It is almost not possible. But still I was scared, could not sleep until 2AM.

Let me tell you another story, which happened almost a week ago.

I have been on a 10 day long trip, with my sister and my cousins. It started really bad for my sister on Day One, she had serious issues. But from Day Two, it all changed, I never seen her so confident, mature and strong. I was so happy and proud of her. I never loved her so much. After the trip, I went home for the weekend. On that night, Mum, Dad, Sister, Aunt, Cousin and I were talking some random things, later the topic was God and Religion. I was against it and everyone is against me. I made fun of my own religion, God and people who have faith. But my sister tried to make some arguments, but I was still not convinced and made fun.

Coming to the present, I woke up today morning with the same fear. I talked to some people regarding this, but I could not feel completely better. Later, when I was in the shower, I realised something.

I, was having strong feelings (fear), that I can not control, about something which most probably wont even happen, speaking logically/scientifically.

Then, what is wrong if someone is having strong feelings (faith) in someone who most probably might not exist (God), speaking logically/scientifically.

Then I promised myself, that I would always respect the people who have faith in God/Religion.

Because, something bad has to happen to me, to make me realise, to make me be in their shoes and think

Like I said, may be bad things happen to us for a reason.

PS: Song for the mood, Satellites by James Blunt.

"Are we all just satellites?

Where's the love? Show me tonight

Here's the moment we unite

For all we know life's just to dream

Who the hell knows what it means?

Stop the world and sing with me"

UnamedWen's Dear Diary